repairing the tear...

Being operated upon and watching it live is one hell-of-an-experience!

They treat you just like a mechanic treats a machine, and if you really come to think of it, it does make sense! You are numb in the area of operation due to those tranquilisers and feel no pain, so really there is no difference between a machine and you. The instruments used are also quite something. They go like - "knife please.... scissors now... ". It does kind of get you a bit freaked out.... And the most difficult part is that you have to just keep lying idle there like a dead body. Its like a they keep doing things to you and you are playing that game --- 'FREEZE'! They do not even give you a damn pillow!

After all of this is done, you also get a chance to see what has come out of your toxic (!) body. The dirt, blood etc etc.... And trust me on this - its all very awackkk...! But then its still something new that you have never seen before and will not see in your daily lives, so it does still qualify as an interesting sight.... ;)

The worst part - they charge you and that too heftily for all this assault..!!

ps - eventually its all good because you are better off on the health (even though not on the pocket!) side of things....

Honey where's my Money

the financial crisis happened because unwise investment managers sold unviable inverstment bundles to people. these investment managers used financial models which they themselves did not understand completely to justify the risky products they promoted. the models were greek to most of us and so we relied heavily on the expert advice of our 'so-called' investment experts. we chose to walk over our common sense and bank upon some set of numbers that were gibberish to us but were of great insight to some other 'inteligent' men. the models get passed on from year to year and person to person and survive all types of analysis and questions simply on the premise that they were 'okay' last year too.

there is a strong need to simplify things. infact things start to get complex when our greed takes us over. we want to make that quick buck, or should i say 'big' buck in 'little' time. it is then that we even start exploring opportunities that dont really exist in the real world but are simply born on our computer screens!

s - sex!

the sensex seems to be going mad these days. people always told me its a mad mad market for shares out there, but i never really believed them. i thought some common sense was all one needed to get the better of the stock exchange. well, i was slightly wrong or have been proved wrong atleast for now (till my investments give me some profits!)...

i really wonder at times what drives these prices. nothing drastic seems to have happened in the last one month or so (apart from the budget which was not a shocker by any means..) and the index has jumped about as if its ass was on fire! my investments though have only payed heed to the downside, they seem to ignore the upside very conveniently...

birthdays are meant to be special days. i have never really paid too much attention to them though. be it as it may, this birthday was quite fantastic. the people around me made it worth getting older! ;)

i love delhi and i also hate it! i love mumbai and i also hate it too! i guess its just this thing with our country - something or the other is always lacking (and lacking in plenty...). mumbai rocks for the people there - they seem to be much more chilled than the DAYLIGHTS (delhite) here. the crudeness of the people here irks me no end. the lack of courtesy is troubling. i wont even bother comparing the two places for the infra and amenities they have. mumbai might fall short on that front even to a timbuktoo..!

i hope to fill u guys in on the trek i recently took. the place is called Roopkund (lake) and the journey is the most beautiful i have taken. tired you get, but so what!?! the pleasure completely overtakes you! (... more to follow...)

insouciant, petulant etc etc - these are words that would keep me going. where? - places that i really want to go, tests that i really want to take and books that i really really want to read... and suuei just keeps me up there.... with the words and otherwise, on cloud 999 all the time! :)

water water everywhere

i am making a shift from other stuff to myself today. today is my day!  :)

very mixed day today. from excitement and hope to absolute nothingness. then came the water. although the plan was that i would go to it and flap away to fitness in it, but guess the gods decided otherwise. they decided to splash it out to me themselves. i saw one of the most beautiful rains today, and realised that i live in one of the most beautiful places in delhi. 

shaken with emptiness both outside with no one around at home and inside, i decided to take a plunge into the small wilderness outside my house. first the beautiful rain, and then suddenly before i could figure out why it was so chilly, it was the small white balls one calls 'olle' in delhi.

the balls kept getting bigger - for a moment i thought this was not delhi. it seemed like the hills and mountains. now the size started bothering me a little bit. it did not particularly hurt, but certainly kept tapping me again and again. i was soaking in the nature really - and also helping my emotions get dissolved. in the meantime the tapping kept getting stronger - the windspeed hit maximum and the white (till now tiny) balls were no longer babies. i ran in to witness ten minutes of a glimpse of the power that nature veils. the tappers were big and were thundering away being carried by winds at breathtaking speeds.

finally after many sways, the sun had its way - making the entire setting look even more pretty. it was now my turn to go where the water was. i started toiling away and decided i dint want to walk, so took an auto. entering the pool sent some shivers now as the water must have cooled due to the rains and the olle. i swam, kept swimming till was interrupted by some kids, dads or other random boys. random boys because they seemed to have been in the pool without any purpose - they weren't swimming and they dint have kids and they were also not kids!

came back, had some freshly cooked khichadi and decided not to bother about too many things. just take things as they come - nothing out-of-the-way kinds.

1 vote = 1 for all or 1 vote = 2 for some?

most problems in life are on account of inequality - actual or perceived. while the latter can be tackled easily, it is the existence of the former that is the real cause of worry and concern. i am not going to talk about the reason for the existence of differences amongst people, i am taking that as a given and am simply going to offer you my idea of a solution to a certain problem (which i shall just talk about) that exists because of this inequality that encompasses our society.

since it is election season in india and i do happen to be part of this nation, i am going to devote some of my time as well as yours (in case you read this that is) to make our nation a better democracy. 

india is a nation of a myriad differences. we are a billion plus nation of a billion different human beings, a million different languages, half a million religions, one of the biggest ranges of income brackets and last but far from being the least, the difference of sexes that nature has bestowed upon us. for someone like me living in the cities, a village environment and a villager is as much an alien as someone from timbuktu. my income, my habits, my education, my upbringing, my language - everything is long distant from my friend in solesandhi (some village...). apart from the fact that both of us do our ablutions in the morning everyday, i think almost everything else in our lives inside and outside is poles apart.

given that we are a nation of such diversity - such inequality for some - should we be treated equally? should we have equal rights? are we evolved enough to be treated like a meritorious society? 

isn't reservation of some form, on an economic basis according to me, required for us at this stage?

.... and simply stretching this, should not we have differential voting rights too - maybe a differential weightage depending upon our level of education?

just some food for thought.

    

No temples, no mosques, no gurudwaras et al - sounds good?

should we be allowed to celebrate and practice our religion outside the boundaries of our private living areas?  should it not be banned like smoking in public because this too kills and that too to in numbers that are easily beyond that burning stick.

  

winking wines

how do you get people to start a discussion?  bring up something controversial or something that's got some amount of voyeurism in it or just open a bottle of wine?  i want myself to think and believe otherwise, but i have noticed off late that the 'wine bottle' solution seems to have a very high success rate.  be it the subtlety and ting in its taste or the fact that its classy and french (!), but it does get people talking and mocking!

although they have complex names that are bloody damn difficult to pronounce correctly and more often that not sound very hilarious - this form of the liquid is quite handful to the tongue!  it is suppose to be had by rolling over the tongue, but whoever i have asked how one does that, has simply shrugged off saying that "i don't do that, i just drink...".  nevertheless, i feel that the tongue is given a lot of exercise by the wines of the world - its got this tingy and tickling touch to it that makes the taste buds dance!

sleep has taken me over now, and the tongue refuses to type anymore (now u know how sleepy i am)!  anyway, have a lovely night!  :)

the dhobi who shrunk my clothes... (and more....)

dravid rocking and sachin playing shockingly well - what more to expect from the opening day!  never mind that the matches were boring, they promise to be different this time - its unlikely to be a cameo's game this time around.  this is just my gut talking.... and dont underestimate it!!  ;)

its always about peaks and troughs - highs and lows - ups and downs - like the waves in the oceans.  i had a terrible day yesterday in terms of studying and its been fantastic today - guess its important to just keep going no matter what... like they say - u lose some, u win some - just ensure u win MORE and lose less!

music, any kind really, is one of the most beautiful man-made inventions.  it has umpteen forms, it can be passively active and actively passive, and its ur best friend - it ll never leave u hanging and deserted.  and i guess staying alone just makes you realise that even more - thus the vociferous proclamation...!  and this is for suuei - thanks for the beatles  :)

shrunk clothes are the order of the day for me lately.  with three of my t-shirts compressed by the laundry man here, i have no option but to get squeezed myself to be able to fit them.  thus until next time and after the JOGGING - babye!

some of this long weekend....

i have been watching these movies based on the times of Hitler lately.  different depictions really - guess there was so much happening during that time in the land of the Aryans that you could come out with a bundle of different narrations, each as intriguing as the other.  anyway, my point about these movies was that they are so bloody inspirational!  anything done against that man - Hitler, needed to be so resolutely defiant that the entire act is a perfect epitome of 'standing for your beliefs'.  i watch these movies in the night before going to bed and still have a hangover in the morning - not that its very strange to have one after watching a reasonably nice movie, but there is that touch of 'strength' that i tend to draw from the acts that people did during that time in Germany to defend their rights to live like free human beings.  its a good thing, i agree, but its still a damn hangover that makes me go back and think about it first thing in the morning!

on another note, i think one should be very wary of forming first impressions about people.  drawing conclusions about anything without proper evaluation and check more often that not is incorrect, and is more so with people owing to the fact that human beings are 'dynamic social creatures'.  i am saying this out of personal experience - so now that i have made the mistake, it might be smart for you not to make it.  like they say - you don't have to reinvent the wheel every time you think of making a car!

it was my brother's birthday a couple of days back and the little one seemed so nonchalant about it.  i mean he did celebrate and all but i guess this runs in my immediate family - we don't tend to make a very big deal out of them like some others!  i feel this is one of the many things that both my brother and myself have gotten from our dad - the attitude of not making occasions a very big deal.  its sometimes good, but i think there are times one should let it zip and celebrate like this is THE day!

staying alone gives one a lot of time to just think - and i love doing that at times.  its like some people say they think about things when crapping because they are alone in there, living alone is like being able to crap all day!  this trip to hk has given me a lot of space and time to just think.  not that i have been thinking like those who called themselves 'intellectuals' in the bygone eras, but yes i have given myself some time to dwell over things in peace and space.  some things that strike you are just so ridiculous, but i guess to find gold you have to go through some (maybe a lot!) limestones!  and now that i have sat down to pen what i have been thinking about - guess what, nothing would strike me!  so basically i have only found 'limestones' till now in my quest for gold  ;)

this one i think has been long and i am not saying that i don't have much more to write, but if  go on i would die of guilt as this happens to be my time to study!  ;) 

:)

i have been confined to this tiny but brilliant room for almost one day now. have eaten, slept, crapped, bathed, studied, read and fooled around (!) here. long time since i have written and so have decided to keep writing whatever strikes me - so excuse me for the lack or (or absolute absence) of 'continuity' in what i write.

actually i am very inclined to just shut this little laptop of mine and sleep, but slept i have for more than 10 hours last night! to be fair i guess i am a lill confused as to what to do. i am dwindling between going out to see the already seen hongkong, sleeping, watching a movie or just reading. guess eventually i will get out, but am just pushing the eventuality right now!

so these days i lead a very healthy lifestyle. i have like this fantastic fruit platter in the morning before walking to work. work all day, come back to the gym in the evening and then catch up with some studying. and not to forget i also read before turning the lights off! i really enjoy turning the lights off in the night - my room has this fancy 'master light' button. you switch that off and its perfect for a good nights sleep, and beat this - its right next to my head, so i dont even have to get up! i know its not as fancy a thing as i made it sound like, but the light switch in my room at home needs to be put off by getting up and so this little feature just enamours me that much more. guess 'value' is after all to some extent relative.

insouciant - anyone heard that word? well i just read it in suuei's blog today and so wanted to call her and make fun of her right then. its like she purposely used that word so that people look up and take notice! ;) (suuei is going to kill me for this! but am sure she knows i am joking!!)

corporate life i have realised really spoils u. it in a lot of ways encourages you to lead an absolutely unhealthy lifestyle. u are given browny points to work long hours, encouraged to have lunch at your desk - leading to people just eating fast food, looting the client for your out-of-pocket expenses whenever possible et al. i try and stay away from most of these - except maybe the bit about looting ur client! i would prefer a more chilled life with maybe lesser pay/perks, but i still have a lot of time to really take a 'decisive' decision about that. as of now its 'all good'.

its been a while that i spoke to mummy and i guess i am going to call her after writing this. she wanted me to do something and i just could not get the time to, but will talk to her and confirm if still needs it to be done. i really like mummy(s) - i mean most moms including some of my friend's moms. and i have a feeling they also end up liking me a little more than others! guess its quid pro quo ;) for instance suuei's mom is fantastic - i really like aunty!

time to switch off now - not sleeep its 6 here, but get going somewhere. catch ya guys later (hopefully earlier than later).

 

staying in touch

i am really bad at this! and so have decided to write about it as this might help me inculcate some of what i am about to preach! :)


recently there was a big indian festival - holi (the festival of colours). as is customary, i was supposed to call people (relatives primarily) and wish them - at least that is what was suggested by my mom. and as is very usual in my case, i did not do that. and so when i next spoke to mummy, she blasted me left, right and centre. and again as is usual, and given the physical distance between the two of us, i acknowledged my mistake and said that i would call now, but to say the obvious - i did not again!


then, just yesterday, i spoke to my bua (aunt) and was generally chatting up with her. actually after my cousin (juhie didi) has gotten married, bua seems to have really become the bridge between my generation and the elders in the family. guess she can see both sides better now. anyway, so while talking to her we got on to talk about 'staying in touch'.

i d like to believe that she did not preplan this discussion with me, but nevertheless it did turn out to be good value addition for me. apart from telling me the obvious (obvious - but we still tend to miss it) that one should keep in touch, she was talking in examples. and she made sense.
her line of thought was that it is obviously important and a good practice to keep in touch with relatives (especially elders) for sentimental reasons, but doing so also helps in ingraining this as a practice in our daily lives. from her experience she said that those who drop a hi/hello here and there are always better off in maintaining and extending a strong social web that is always handy in times of need. as i mentioned before - bua has become the 'bridge' after juhie did's wedding -, she quoted anuraag jiju's (juhie didi's husband!) example and how he is so damn good at maintaining ties.


and so all this was just for my selfish reasons really. u see i want to get this to be my habit - 'staying in touch', and so i decided to bore you with writing about it!
and now that you have already read this far, maybe for your own selfish reasons you could try and make this your habit too - after all its not poison, its just some minutes of your time and maybe a few bucks!

and i should not forget to mention - though bua was able to get the point across to me better, i think mummy was the first to point it out to me....that apart, its not bua or mummy that are important here, its the damn point!

.....

These days, just when my actuarial exams are drawing closer by the day, i try and use every minute i have in the most productive manner possible. i try and make the best use of my time while travelling to and from work. i have tried various things in the office cab that i take - watching movies, doing questions and also writing this very blog entry (unsuccessfully!). u see i sit on the front seat and thus am a bit cramped for space even though i have like a tiny-miny laptop! am not trying to show-off, but the damn thing is just so small and beautiful...!!

off late, actually the last 3 days to be precise, i have been wanting to sit down and write. guess its just one of those things that you cannot stop doing till you have exhausted all to write about. and because i have never before written a diary or penned my thoughts down anywhere, i think there is massive pile of content i want out there in my personal (the link is too difficult to remember for it not to be personal!) showcase!

things keep striking me like it happens when you are finally woken up to switch that mosquito repellent on after those little creatures have tickled (!) you enough to get your arse out of the bed (this might not be the best analogy, but just get the damn point na!). so i think about writing about this and then my head sways to something else that i d like to pen down, and eventually when it comes to writing (which is now), nothing concrete comes to head! i think the best way to deal with this would be to keep writing as things keep biting my little brain.

i am suppose to be working and working hard at that - because i might be leaving for HK next week. but here i am writing this and really enjoying typing for a change! i think its best to stop at the point when u have to think how to continue. that way your entire write up is more natural and flowy (or at least it seems so to me!)....

late nights..!

i have been thinking about getting on to this for sometime now. have been procrastinating a lot! and i have always managed to come up with better excuses everytime - at times the fact that i should rather study or just read and at times the fact that i am really slow at writing on the computer! nevertheless, here i am trying to put up something worthy of a read...

on my left there is a wall and on my right a lot of activity - guys playing cards, the movie 'risk' on my airtel tv, rajveer bhaiya talking on the phone and jammy sipping his beer. oh it just struck me that since this is my first attempt to getting something written, i should tell you my inspiration behind this. i owe it to my little jerk brother and my lovely and beautiful friend suuei. the style is a complete inspiration from suuei...

and now the sleep is getting to me - i wonder how people stay awake so long. i have been setting up the house since morning - got like a college get together at my place tomorrow morning. really looking forward to it and meeting all those people after so long together! suuei said she might be coming down but that was not to happen. i miss her but i guess its a little difficult logistically... anyway, had she been here i would have made cocktails tomorrow and done things behind the pseudo bar that i usually dont do! suuei told me that its called a period of lent when you abstain from certain activities - and like we discussed it seems we are permanently on lent! ;)

ok, now i am done and sleep has taken me over... so good night!